It's a couple of years since I heard the Kuijken, but I've always had a special liking for his Bach performances. There's such subtlety and variety of expression in them, which goes with a special quality of absorption in the playing. I remember liking this St Matthew recording a lot when I heard it. But I've also been listening to the Dunedin/Butt recording, another musically very satisfying performance which is rewarding in a different way. Like the Kuijken, it's a one-voice-to-a-part recording, but the Dunedin recording uses this to emphasize the human drama in the music, giving the ensemble numbers a vivid, "voices in the crowd" sort of character which I think I am going to miss when I go back to other recordings in future. This recording also has a great and none too common strength in a dramatically credible Christ, the fittingly named Matthew Brook. (Though everyone should hear Fischer-Dieskau under Klemperer in this role at least once.) The female voices in the Dunedin recording are rather light and boy-soprano-ish, which is not so much to my personal liking, but I wouldn't be without this version either. I haven't yet heard the Netherlands Bach Society recording on Channel but have very high hopes for it as well after hearing their recording of the St John Passion.
So I'm probably not being too helpful here. Given your stated priorities, Kuijken probably is a good first choice for you. Myself, though, I went and bought them all.
P.S. Just read the reviews here of the Kuijken and Butt recordings, and they describe the qualities of the performances and recordings extremely well.
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